What you say or do:

• “I would like your opinion on something. Occasionally one of my patients gets sick suddenly and I can’t talk to them.”

• “Then I worry that I can’t provide the best care for them.”

• “For example, one of my patients told me that they would never want to be a vegetable. That’s very important for me to know, even when that person is far from being that sick.”

• “What do you think about that?”

What you say or do:

• “Have you ever heard about advance directives or living wills?”

• “If the disease was getting worse and might take your life, what would be most important to you?”

• “Some people think that we should focus on comfort, others say adding days to your life is the most important. What do you think?”

What you say or do:

• “Have you ever thought about who would be the best person to make medical decisions if you were too sick to make them yourself?”

What you say or do:

• “I can see this is making you feel concerned.” [names the emotion]

• “What I am hearing you say is you want to keep fighting.” [Reflects the patient’s words back]